mimpi die lagi

haiyaa . sudah bape kali la sehh . last nite , again . but kinda different . i talked to him , i saw his little girl . such a lovely girl . look juz like her daddy .

not too much of conversation . emm , ape sal huh ? aku ni kene ubat gune2 kep ? adehh . sampai bile nak handle bende ni ? im not bored , im juz get tired to it . reality ? fate ? . aren't you guy tired playing with me ? coz i do .

so plz stop it . i cant bare facing 'stuff' that hurts me a lot . emotionally ! plzzz ;(

pagi !

segarr nye pagi ni . subuh2 aku da bgn . tp pas2 aku tito alik . haa . becoz of a dream . cant 'classified' as sweet dream or a nightmare .

fisrt ; im having a relationship with bboy . but it seems like it was in real life . sudden my grandma and mom insist me to marry someone that i dont even know his name . everyone says he was a great choice for me . yuckkkss . am i the only one who really understand the word 'love' here ?

sabtu ; hari 2 ingt kan tarikh nikah . i waited for one whole day but nothings happened . its actually a funny thing . i did not agree but i do feel right for this .

ahad ; haa . time nikah . but no preparation , no wedding dress , no make up . n then ! tuttt i woke up . what a relieve . i juz a dream . thank god , i didn't see who's my groom , even his name . klu aku tawu sape . haiyaa , mampus la aku dok kenang2 mimpi 2 .

pas2 aku msg bf aku . cite la pasal mimpi
nak tawu ape die cakap ;
2la lain kali sebelum tito basuh kaki , bace doa. ini tidak , main landing jep.
haa ;)

hari yang menyenangkan

weeyy keje wa ciap baii ! la sgt . but still tak kene marah pon . kan aku da cakap . tayah susah2 nk ciap kan , tade nye die marah . muahahahahah .

n im still hepy , no fighting . juz hepy thought . huh not so hepy thought la . im trying to control my emotions , if im mad , not gonna show . if im hepy , i will try to tell everyone .

last few days had been a confusing day , the 'ex's . im thinking more about my past n sudden i cant remember my present . i do cried , seeing the picture of him n his wife . im mad , but i dont know why . come on ed , he's someone's husband . dah tade penting nye sume kisah2 lame 2 .

u know what , first love do exist . n eternal love too .

azrin ; u are my fisrt love . my love that i cant never forget . but now ,
maybe im juz in love with the 'memory'
so do make urself a happy life with her
abd rashid ; i do love youu , deeply emotionally
so im gonna make u happy as much as i do with youu

GOD ; i pray every night and day ,
jike die jodoh ku , kaw dekat dekatkan la
jike sebalik nye , kaw jauh jauh kan la
amin ya rabballalamin

mail ; wish you were here ;(

alasan lagi

saye nak tawu la nape ;

klu saye yang cal , mesty perbualan kite tak semesra bile awak yang cal saye
cakap cam nak tanak
tak fokus pon ape yang saye cakap
n tade mesra2 or manje2 bile nak letak pone

kekadang saye tak faham pangai awak
tapi dah name pon pangai awak
so terpakse la diam dan terima
;(

go ed go !

come on ed . mereke sudah bahagia . so go and find ur own happiness !

true ; saying sorry maybe juz not enough . it takes the whole life , mayb . but sometimes hidup kite takan same ngan ape yg kite da rancang .

so now ; im sorry sayang . for lying to ur face , secretly hiding my feelings towards him . his my past , n he already got his future . but thanks , thanks for always accepting my past .

ibu cakap ; doa selalu tok aku . klu ade jodoh , dekat dekatkan la , klu tade ; jauh jauh kan la . thanks mom . from now , im gonna fight for my love . i learn his weakness , jadi harus lah belajar menerima nye . insyaallah , kami akan same2 berusaha .

i love youu
;)

sakitnyeee

lame tak update blog . lame tak berceritakn ?

my heart was deeply in pain . gosh ! juz wish can get rid those feeling .

sayang , nape kite camni ? nape asyik gaduh sebb bnde yang same ? tiap ary camni kan ? sampai bile ? u once said , do keep fighting until both of us '-------' cant bare to say that word .

hear me plzz ;
i love youu i do
miss youu every second every breath
tapi ...
kdg2 cinta tak ckop tok 1perhubungan
kite tade perbualan
kite tade perbincangan
aku tak bersuare
kaw ? takan bertnye
plzz
plzz try to understand me better
aku tak pandai nak sorok perasaan
bile aku marah , aku marah
bile aku hepy , kaw tawu kan sume 2?

let go if u think it wont get youu nything
:'(

sedang dan cube !

haa , ari ni nak try cipta rekod . 17 hours not stop dok kat studio wat keje . wahh ! hebat la weyy . gila kan . keje tak ciap2 gak .

damn home sickk ! so very2 much missing him , mommy , sista bro ! daddy ? not much , da jumpe ari 2 .

cepat la keje ciap , i wanna go home !

xoxo sed

should i ; should not

it almost one hour . i've been waiting for him to rep my msg . should i mad ? yesterday we been fighting for the same reason . im i the one to blame ? he said , keep on fighting until we break ! it that what i want ?

nope ! obviously not ! how can us be separate ? it juz not because i love you , but i need you . u r my friend , my brother , my breath . emm .......

yang aku tak faham , siapa tak faham siapa , siapa tak belajar memahami . dan siapa yang sebenarnya tak faham langsung . klu bedebat pon , 2,2 nak menag kan . maka tiada konklusi .

so i better rap up my self n call it a day . gudbye sayang . hope u'll enjoy yourself there . i miss youu

xoxo sed

hate this part of me

i been crying since i cant remember . reason ? dun really noe . i kept sms him with 'im sorry' . i dunno what im sorry for . lied to him ? keepin my thought from him ? pretend like nothing hapen ? or mayb im juz missing him too much ?

haisshh ! why is it hurt so much . its like my heart gonna poping out ! dum dam dum dam . i cant barely face it . ohh god ! should i let him go ?

how ? i juz so in love wit him ;(

liar liar burn a fire

aku sedang menipu . tapi aku tataw menipu kat sape . diri aku sendiri ? atau pada die ?

cume yang aku pasti adlah kenape aku menipu ;

menjaga hati

lebih baik simpan

kot ,

tak faham ?
aku pon same

work work work !

health safety and welfare

architectural design theory

designproject

study for exam

jeez , have to finish within these 2 n half week . damn ! presure ciot !

imy

saye sangat merindui anda ;(

hasil keje yang buat aku tensi !

sepuluh tahun aku try wat bende alah ni . hait ! last2 aku give up . bf aku jugak yang keje kan .aku mane la tawu gune cs3 ni kan . die jep teror . tp yg gamba lukis 2 aku yang wat . yang belakang die yg pomen . haa . bijak2

yang ni lak . 100% aku keje kan . haa . cam budak2 punye keje . name je budak archi . tak bole pakai juge !

dah ! time 2 sleep . aku da sgt la penat . kene pk design lak . haitaa !

selamat pagi cinta !

huh ! pjg kan kite gaduh . ehh , gaduh ke ? mane ade . bedebat jep .
macam2 ayat kua , aku nak menang
kaw pon same gak
sape salah ?
kowg la tentukan

tapi bape pjg or bape lame or isu ape2 pon kite gaduh
last2 aku tegelak gak ngan kaw kan ?
aku still boleh gurau ag kan ?
sebab ape ?

sebabnye ;
kaw la satusatu nye sahabat yang sangat2 memahami aku
kaw la satesatu nye kekasih hati yang sedang bertahta kat istana aku
sayang aku
cinta aku
tak akan pernah berubah
kaw je tak faham and selalu salah faham

aku rindu kaw tawu tak ?!
sebenanye aku suke cari gaduh ngan kaw
sebab mase ni je kaw akan bagi sume perhatian kaw kat aku
aku kan gile manje
kaw je tahan melayan
tapi kaw tawu sampai bile ?
sampai mati la dol !
klu kaw tggal kan aku , aku bunuh kaw pas2 kerat kaw 38x
muahhhhhhhaaaaaaa (gelak jahat)

for all my life , i am yours
sayang awak abdul rashid bin abu bakar
muaaahhhh !